Find confidence parenting kids with neuro-developmental differences
How to survive (and even thrive) parenting your child with neurodevelopmental differences Are you raising a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, developmental delay, learning difficulties, sensory and emotional dysregulation, or all the above? There’s no question that raising a child with neurodevelopmental differences is extra tough. It demands an extra level of energy and resilience to overcome the unique challenges and stressors you and your child face.  In fact, it really necessitates that you throw out many expectations you may have had, and continually adjust your mind-set and approach to parenting. If you are like the many parents I work with, you want to help your child succeed and reach their potential, but you also want to feel peace, purpose and joy in parenting and in life. You still want to have meaningful relationships, pursue your own goals and interests, all while being the parent your child needs. This may seem impossible and unfortunately there is no manual for raising your unique child. However, I assure you there are many meaningful ways to have a more confident and purposeful parenting experience. Thankfully, there are some common experiences, strategies and stages of growth that form part of many parents’ roadmap. By sharing these lessons over the course of this six-stage blog series, I hope to provide a practical framework to support you in your own journey. Rather than a rigid formula, please consider the following steps as connected and ever-evolving processes that will move as you and your family grow and change over time.  
 

1. Establish the right support network for you and your family

Social connection and support is one of the biggest predictors of resilience (your capacity to recover from difficulties), and this is especially true for parents of children with neurodevelopmental differences. Social support refers to the quality and accessibility of supports that not only focus on your child’s needs, but help to support you and your family. Having a child with neurodevelopmental differences can often lead to changes in your social networks and creates unique barriers. Adjusting to a new (and improved) support network and rallying together your team is an essential component of surviving and thriving.

2.  Delve into learning and understanding your child’s development and what their behaviour is communicating.

This refers to the process of getting to know your child and making sense of their unique developmental needs, strengths and challenges, what works, and the “why’s” of their behaviour. Doing the work to understand what your child’s behaviour is communicating and learning ways to best support their needs are all invaluable steps to take. No doubt you are on this journey already. This empowers parents to feel more confident about their ability to connect with and support their child to thrive.

3. Establish a collaborative relationship with your child’s support team

 The right team, working together, can make all the difference for your child and family.  It is important to engage with professionals that listen, value and encourage your ideas and provide support in a way that fits your circumstances, values and priorities. Then there is the dilemma of how to get everyone on the same page and working together. It can feel like running your own start up or being the director of a small business;  from recruiting, coordinating appointments and goals, monitoring outcomes and maintaining effective communication. This is no easy process, but it is one we hope to support you in.

4. Dedicate space to nurture your wellbeing and mindset

Raising kids with neurodevelopmental differences can really impact your physical and emotional wellbeing. Many parents go through patterns of grief, fear, blame, anger and uncertainty with limited support. You are also juggling appointments, challenging behaviours, disturbed sleep, fussing eating and ‘all of the above’. This inevitably leads to burnout and helplessness if no care is put into your wellbeing at the same time. Taking care of your wellbeing is essential if expect to show up in the best way for you and your family each day. Mind-set refers to your internal processes and coping mechanisms. From how you make sense of what is happening, how you respond to stressors and experiences in your day, and your beliefs and values surrounding yourself, your child and role as parent. Identifying and strengthening helpful coping mechanisms (and identifying those that are not) can make a huge difference to your experience of parenting.

5. Work on strengthening your relationships and family system

Relationships are often overlooked and the first to get bumped off the priority list when considering your family’s wellbeing and resilience. Parents process and respond in different ways to parenting at the best of times, not to mention when grappling with a diagnosis or managing compounding challenges. However, there is hope. Many parents do find a way to come together as a team, communicate more effectively, and provide much needed support, fun and companionship for each other. Support for siblings, effective family systems (i.e. routines, communication, rituals) and the home environment are all important components of your survival.
Over the next 5 weeks we will break these points down into more detail to assist you on your journey to survive and even thrive parenting your child with difference.

  Many parents take it all on themselves and expect to be a super-human parent. Going it alone is inevitably a set up for overwhelm and exhaustion. What you will have noticed about the above steps, is that most of them involve establishing relationships and support networks for you and your family. This is why a key mission of Inside Out Child & Family Psychology is to develop a community of support and resources to help you along this journey. Along with sharing resources here, you can also join out parent support group where you can meet, share and learn from other parents who have a child with neurodevelopmental disorders. If you are seeking further support or if you want to learn more about these techniques, please contact us to discuss how we can help support you and your family. Remember to join our monthly newsletter to stay in touch with our community and to receive free downloadable products.
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